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No. 490. 



bne Couldn't Marry 
Three. 



FAECE. 



WITH CAST OF CHARACTERS, ENTRANCES aND 
EXITS, RELATIVE POSITIONS OF THE PERFORMERS 
ON THE STAGE, DESCRIPTION OP COSTUMES AND 
THE WHOLE OF THE STAGE BUSINESS; CARE- 
FULLY .-MARKED FROM THE MOST AP- 
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No. M. F. 

DRAMAS. 

294 Arthur Eustace, 25c 10 3 

164 After Ten Years 7 6 

125 Auld Eobin Gray, 25c 12 3 

318 Adventuress, The 8 6 

350 By Force of Love 8 3 

113 Bill Detrick 6 3 

226 Brae, the Poor House Girl 4 4 

321 Broken Links 8 4 

272 Beyond Pardon 6 4 

ICO Conn; or Love's Victory.. 9 3 

2:8 Clearing the Mists 5 3 

310 Claim Ninety-six (96) 25c. 8 5 

234 Commercial Drummer, The 5 3 

373 Cricket on the Hearth, The 6 6 
212 Dutch Recruit, The, 25c.. 14 3 

161 Dora 5 2 

60 Driven to the Wall 10 3 

342 Defending the Flag, 25c.. 11 3 

3^3 Daisy Garland's Fortune, 

25c 5 5 

152 Driven from Home 6 4 

279 Dutch Jake 4 3 

173 East Lynne 8 6 

143 Emigrant's Daughter 8 3 

67 False Friend, The 6 1 

97 Fatal Blow, The 6 1 

119 Forty-Niners, The 10 4 

162 Fielding Manor 9 6 

385 Freeman Mill Strike, The. 7 1 

176 Factory Girl 6 3 

255 Gertie's Vindication 3 3 

300 Grandmother Hildebrand's 

Legacy, 25c 5 4 

811 Gyp, The Heiress, 25c 5 4 

304 General Manager, The.... 6 5 

93 Gentleman in Black, The. . 8 4 

390 Handy Andy 10 3 

233 Haunted hy a Shadovir 6 2 

314 Haunted Mill, The 5 4 

117 Hal Hazard, 25c 7 3 

386 Hazel Adams 5 3 

374 Hearts of Gold 5 3 

141 Hidden Treasures 3 3 

191 Hidden Hand 15 7 

362 Josh Winchester, 25c 5 3 

402 Joe, the Waif, 25c... 5 3 

337 Kathleen Mavourneen 12 4 

194 Lights and Shadows of the 

Great Rebellion, 25c 10 5 

3 Lady of Lyons 12 6 

9 Lady Audley's Secret 6 4 

136 Legal Holiday 5 2 

330 Little Goldie, 25c 11 3 

387 Little Heroine 8 2 

417 Little Wife, The; 6 3 

39 Life's Revenge 11 4 

261 Lost in London 6 4 

227 Maud's Peril 5 3 

410 Mechanic's Reprieve, The. 8 3 

835 Miller's Daughter, 25c 7 6 

211 Midnight Mistake 6 2 



No. I«I. F. 

251 Millie, the Quadroon 6 5 

163 Miriam's Crime 5 2 

34 Mistletoe Bough 7 3 

229 Mountebanks, The 6 2 

S48 Mrs. Willis' Will 5 

277 Musical Captain, The, 25c. 15 2 

855 My Pard, 25c 6 5 

112 New Magdalen, The 6 3 

298 New York Book Agent-... 7 2 

237 Not Such a Fool as He 

Looks 5 3 

408 Noel Corson's Oath 6 3 

196 Oath Bound 4 2* 

223 Old Honesty 5 2 

81 Old Phil's Birthday 5 2 

331 Old Wayside Inn, The 9 6 

405 Old Glory in Cuba, 25c 8 3 

333 Our Kittie 6 3 

85 Outcast's Wife 12 3 

83 Out on the World 5 4 

347 Our Country Aunt 4 

146 Our Awful Aunt 4 4 

419 Our Jack 7 3 

278 Penn Hapgood 10 3 

301 Peleg and Peter, 25c 4 3 

280 Pheelim O'Rookes' Curse. . 8 3 

5 Phylis, the Beggar Girl... 6 3 

322 Raw Recruit, The 6 y 

420 Rachel, the Fire Waif, 25c 7 4 

71 Reward of Crime, The 5 3 

45 Rook Allen 5 4 

275 Simple Silas 6 3 

409 Southern Rose, A 10 6 

79 Spy of Atlanta, 25c 14 4 

336 Squire's Daughter, The... 5 3 

372 Sunlight, 25o 10 3 

266 Sweetbriar 11 5 

364 Trixie 6 3 

369 Taggs, the Waif, 25c 6 4 

105 Through Snow and Sun- 
shine . . . .' 6 4 

201 Ticket of Leave Man 9 3 

293 Tom Blossom 8 4 

193 Toodles 4 2 

200 Uncle Tom's Cabin 18 7 

396 Uncle Jed's Fidelity 7 3 

415 Under the American Flag 

25c 6 3 

290 Wild Mab 5 3 

41 Won at Last 7 3 

192 Zion 7 4 

TEMPERANCE PLAYS. 

75 Adrift 6 4 

391 Among the Moonshiners.. 7 2 

73 At Last 7 1 

187 Aunt Dinah's Pledge 6 3 

254 Dot; the Miner's Daughter 9 5 

202 Drunkard, The 13 5 

185 Drunkard's Warning 6 3 

189 Drunkard's Doom 15 5 

181 Fifteen Years of a Drunk- 
ard's Life 10 4 



She Couldn't Marry 
Three. 

IN ONE ACT 

—BY— T - 

Joseph H. Slater, 

TO WHICH IS ADDED 

A r>F:«CRlPTION OF THE COSTUMES— CAST OF THE CHARAC- 
IKKS -ENTRANCES AND EXITS— RELATIVE POSITIONS 
OF THE PERFORMERS ON THE STAGE, AND THE 
WHOLE OF THE STAGE BUSINESS. ' 



Entered according to act of Congress in the year 1917 by 

W. H. AMES. 
in the office of the Librarian of Congress at Washington. 



AMES' PUBTJ8HING CO. 

— CLYDE, onro - 



SHE COTLDN T MARRY THREE. 'X^ /^^ 

Frank Raymond A dioorced husband. 

Oliver Trimble Seeking his affiniUj 

Jupiter r A colored seroant. 

Angelina Trusting but deceived wife. 

LuciNDA Trimble •■•■A model wife. 



% 



TIME-~45 minutes. 



PROPERTIES. 

Sofa, table, two chairs, call bell; duster, a tray with a bottle and 
5;1hss for Jupiter; two swords for Frank and Oliver. 




. ISTAGE DIRECTIONS. 
R means Right; L'.'Left; R. ii.. Right Hand; l, h., Left Hand; c, Cen- 
tre s E [2d E.,] Second Entrance; u. t:.. Upper Entrance; M. D., Middle 
Door; f.' the Flat; D. f. Door in Flat; r. c. Right of Centre; l. c. Left of 
Centre. 

R. r. c. c. l. c. l. 

■■>* The reader is supposed to beupon the Stage, facing the audience. 

©CI.D 4S249 

NOV -5 1917 

^-u^ •_./ _. * . 



felie (.\>n1dii't MaL*±*y Three. 



SCENE — Parlor — c. D., fancy sofa l. c, tab{e and two chairs R., call bell 
on table — D. L. 3 E., and D. R. 3 E. — Jupiter discoverd dusting ad. 
lib. 

Jupiter. Golly, dis family am a nice bunch of lunatics. Eber since 
de massa came home from de fair, he am a much changed man. He 
neglects his business an' he goes aroun' singin", "All foh de lub of a 
dear little gal." Now he can't mean his present wife, foh no man 
would be so foolish as to fall in lub with his own wife, and besides 
she's not a little gal — den it's my private opinion dat dar's another 
woman in de case, an' dat means trouble. Wheneber a middle-aged 
married man falls in lub with a strange woman, look out foh de loco- 
motive. As a colored gentleman, I can't stand foh such goin's on in 
a 'spectable family. I'm goin' to give my notice to-day. It's my 
opinion dat de people of dis country spend one half their lives gettin' 
married an' de other half gettin' divorced. My massa says he's 
lookin' foh his affinity — whateber dat means. De massa told me it 
meant somefin to cling to, so it must mean a telephone pole. Dat's 
not so bad about three o'clock in de inornin'. 

(door bell heard ring off' R. c. 
Ah, ha! there goes de door bell. Well, I wonder who can be our vis- 
itor. No mattah who it am, nothin' can surprise me in this house of 
mystery, (bell rings again) I'se cumin, I'se comin' ! 

(exit R. c. D. — Jupiter heard off a 
All right sah, I guess he'll be home pretty soon if you'll wait. 

Enter Jupiter, c. d. r., followed by Frank Raymond. 

Frank Raymond. Well Jupiter, you kept me a long while at the 
door, ringing the bell. 

Jupiter. I didn't 'magine it was you sah, I thought it was a book 
agent, sah. 

Frank. Thought I was a book agent eh? (laughs) Well, that.s 
one on me. Where's Mr. Trimble this morning, Jupiter? 

(sits on sofa. 

Jupiter. He's up stairs singin', sah. 

Frank. Singing! why I didn't know he had voice enough left in 
him to sing. 



4 ' SHE COULDN' T MARRY TflKEEr-, 

Jupiter. Well sah, he hasn't much of a singin' voice, he'd make a 
mighty poor canary, but he keeps on singin' just de same. 

Ftank. Indeed, and what's the song he's in the habit of singing? 

Jupiter. "All foh de lub of a dear little girl. " 

Frank. The giddy old masher. He must have heard that at the 
fair. 

Jupiter. I think dar's somefin" wrong in his upper story. 

Frank. Jupiter, you surprise me. 

Jupiter. Yes sah, I was surprised myself. I gave him credit foh 
habing beUah sehce at his time of life. 

Frank. Does his wife know anything of this? :-j^%..^ 

Jupiter. I don't think so. •:?'-' 

Frank. Jupiter, this must be looked into. What are his symptons? 

Jupiter. His what. . .. 

Frank. His symptons. 
' Jupiter. I don't know what cennamons are. 

Frank. I mean in what way has Mr. Trimble behaved since he 
visited the fair? 

Jupiter. He acts very strangely sah. He appears absent-minded 
an' sings softly to himself. In fact 1 think he's gone crazy. 

Frank. I see it all now, your master is not crazy. I'll bet a dollar 
he's been to see the Midway Plaisance dancing girls. 

Jupiter. You don't mean to say sah, he would go to see those 
hootchie coochie girls, where they dance la, ta, ta, ta. 

(busines of dancing 

Frank. The same, and the sly old dog has become smitten with 
their charms. 

Jupiter. Is that all? 

Frank. Is that all! Great guns! ain't that enough for any married 
man? If his wife should know it, she would sue him for a divorce. 
It's the first time I ever knew he was such a high flyer since he got 
married. I tell you what it is Jupiter, when your master was young 
he was one of the boys, he sowed his wild oats. 

Jupiter. Den it's a wonder he didn't marry a grass widow. 

Frank. But I thought he had given up all such frivolities and flir- 
tations since his marriage, but 1 see I was mistaken. If what you 
tell me is true he must indeed be a gay old boy. 

Jupiter. I think sah, dis city is not swift enough foh him. 

Frank. Not swift enough for him ! Well if this city is not swift 
enough for him, where in the name of all that's great will he go? 

Jupiter. Go to (local hit) on Saturday night. 

Frank, (laughs — aside) Not so bad for the nigger, (aloud) Now 
run along and tell your master I want to see him. 

Jupiter. AH right sah, I'm off like a race horse. (exit c. D. R. 

Frank. Oliver Trimble has a nice comfortable home here, and he 
ought to be happy, if he is not. I would be happy if I had a wife like 
his, but when I come to think of it my wife was all right, but her re- 
lations were all wrong, and so we parted forever, and all on account 
of her blamed meddUng mother. It is the same sad story of what 
might have been — "For every evil under the sun, there is a remedy 
or there is none. If there is one try and find it, if there is none never 
mind it." 

Olioer Trimhip (heard singing off c. R.) "0 for the love of a dear 
littlegirl" 



- 5/7' "^OULDN'T MARRY THREE. . 5 

i^nler Oliver Trimble, c. d. r. 

Hello ! Frank old boy, glad to see you, why didn't you write, telegraph 
or telephone? Where have you been so long? I thought I'd meet you 
at the fair. 

Frank. Say old man, one question at a time please. In the first 
place, have you had enough of "The Fair?" (aside) 1 won't let on 
Jupiter told me anything, and perhaps he'll tell me all. 

Olioer. Sit down Frank, I've got something to tell you. 

(Olivi R sils R. at table. 

Frank, (sits l. — aside) He'sgoing to confess, (aloud) Go ahead 
old man. 

Olioer. In the first place, what do you think of my singing voice? 

Frank. Why do you practice singing when your wife's not around? 
Have you any object in it? 

Oliver. Frank, ever since I visited the fair I feel that I must sing, 
and those Algerian dancing girls were divine. Frank, they were danc- 
ers from Dancerville. Talk of the poetry of motion, they were the 
real candy. 1 saw them over fifty times. 

Frank. Were you there that often with your wife? 

Oliver. Oh, not on your life! I only went three times with her. 

Frank. And the other forty-seven times — 

Oliver. I went with jnyself to enjoy the beauty shows at the fair. 

Frank. What under the sun caused you to visit that place so often? 

Oliver. My affinity. 

Frank. Your what? 

Oliver. My affinity. The very counterpart of my own soul that 
has been wandering in space so long. I tell you Frank she is my 
destiny, my heart's idol, the beautiful, bewitching Angelina. 

Frank. Was she one of the features of the Beauty show? 

Oliver. One of the features ! She was the whole show. 

Frank. You certainly are enthusiastic enough in sounding her 
praises, and you have evidently a bad case of love-at-first-sight. But 
is it mutual? 

Oliver. I can't tell until we become better acquainted. Who knows 
but she may learn to love me. I saw her only forty-seven times. 

Frank, (aside) I should think forty-seven times was quite enough 
for any couple to know each other, (aloud) Did you tell her your 
name and that you were a married man? 

Oliver. I did not. I was so entranced, so enraptured with her that 
it was just heavenly. I have found my affinity at last. 

Frank. However if your wife should hear of this, she wouldn't do 
a thing to you and your so-called affinity. The course of true love 
never does run smooth you know. 

Oliver. But my wife knows nothing of this, and where ignorance 
is bliss, you know the rest of the proverb. 

Frank. I know, but then your wife might find it out. 

Oliver. Yes and cows might fly if they had wings. Of course if she 
should find it out, there would be the devil to pay. 

Frank. In the shape of a divorce lawyer. Remember, the smart- 
est sometimes get trapped. 

Olioer. Oh yes, but my wife is a simple credulous sort of woman 
and she has the most unbounded faith in me. so there is no danger 
of me being detected. 

Frank: I hope so for your wife's sake, anything at all to keep peace 



Ft? SHE COULDN'T MARRY THREE. 

[in the family. 

Olioer. By the way. how are you and your better half getting along? 
Frank. We are not getting along at all. Haven't you heard the 
[news. 

Oliver. News, what news? 

Fcank. We are no longer man and wife. She got a divorce from 
] m-i and left. 

Olioer. What was the matter with the board, didn't you give her 
i en 'ligh to eat? 

Fcank. It wasn't for that, so we agreed to disagree. She claimed 
she couldn't live with me any longer. 

Olioer. I understand, incompatibility of temper, that is a very 
prevalent disease among married people. 

Fiank. She claimed that I snored in my sleep so as to injure her 
I health and peace of mind. It was really a case of too much mother- 
j in-law. Her mother came to live with us, and one day she started a 
; rough house, ending in a free-for-all-fight. She said I had insulted 
j her" and that 1 owed her an apology. 1 told her 1 owed her nothing. 
I She at once sent for her able-bodied son, my respected bruther-in-law.. 
I lie came — he is something over six feet, I knew 1 hadn't a ghost 
'of a show in a rough and tumble with him if we got into an argu- 
ment. 
Olioer. And as a matter of self preservation you ran away 
Frank. Not a bit of it. I stood my ground. 
Olioer. And got whipped of course. .,i: 

Frank. How foolish you must thiniv I am. 
i OHoer. Well, what did you do? 

Frank. Sent for a friend of mine, by the name of Jack Ryan, who 
is a professional prize fighter. I explained to Ryan what he was to 
do. He promised to do ail, and I must say he kept his wurd. The 
day my brother-in-law arrived. 1 was reading a newspaper, when he 
entered, without saying a wurd, he aimed a blow at my head. I 
dodged — 

Olioer. Which was only natural. 

Frank. However, Ryan was ready for him. In two minutes the 
the fight was over, and my brother-in-law was being removed to the 
hospital in an ambulance. 
Olioer. How did it all end? 

Frank. In the divorce court. My wife said she could no longer live 
with a man who handled her relations in such a manner. So she 
went to a lawyer and found out she could get a divorce, and got one. 
Olioer. And what became of your ex-wife? 

Frank. Her whereabouts at present, are to me a dark mystery. I 
heard she had changed her name, and is now leading a butterfly ex- 
istence. The last time I heard of her brother, he was still in the 
liospital. 

Oliver. I never saw or heard of your ex- wife. 

Frank. I don't see how you are going to explain matters to your 
wife. There's liable to be an explosion here shortly. You are cer- 
tainly in a bad fix. What are you going to do about it? 
Olioer. 1 want you to help me out of this scrape. 
Frank. I will if I can without compromising, myself, since this is 
llic first time I've been here since I got married. You see I've a lew 
tioublcs of my own, still I'll lielp you just the sa'iie. 



SHE COULDN'T MARRY THREE. 7 

Olivet, (rises) Thank you Frank, a friend in need is a friend in- 
deed. But let us take a walk, and have a talk and a smoke. 

Frank. A good idea. We will drive dull care away and let us hope 
that all our troubles will end in smoke. 

(exunt c. D. R. — bells heard ringing off r. 

Enter Lucjnda Trimble, d l. 

Lucinda Triwhle. Dear me, what are all the bells ringing for? One 
would think they were ringing in the New Year. 

Enter Jupiter, c. d. r. 

Jupiter, what's the matter with everything and every body in the 
house? 

Jupiter. Dat's what has bothered me. It am turnin' into a pri- 
vate lunatic asylum, an' if I stay here much longer, I'll be as crazy 
as de rest. 

Luc. V/here's your master? 

Jupiter. Out in de garden smokin' a cascaret. 

Luc. Smoking what? 

Jupiter. I mean smokin' one of dem Egyptian cigarettes. 

Luc. Yes, ever since he visited the fair, he has developed a 
strange taste for everything Oriental. I cannot account for his eccen- 
tric behavior. 

Jupiter. I can account for it ma'am, your husband is either in lub 
or insane. 

Luc. But he is not even affectionate towards me of late — in fact, 
he is cold. 

Jupiter. I have noticed de same myself — especially, since he came 
back from de fair, he is a changed man. He talks to himself, an' 
sings de same old song, "Oh fnh de lub of a dear little girl." Now 
ma'am, you ain't his dear little girl. Den there must be another 
woman in de case. 

Luc. {walks up and f^own stage) If I thought my husband was 
false to me, I'd quit his roof forever. 

Jupiter. Yes, we'd quit his roof foreber. 

Luc. Jupiter, I'm gonig to my room now to 'compoise my nerves. 
■When my husband cow.es, notify me. won't you? I want to haul 
him over the coals. 

Jupiter. Yes, well bury him in de coal cella.'-. (bell heard ringing. 
' Luc. Oh, there is thac avful bell dgain. W ili it never cease? 

(exit D. L. 3. 

Jupiler. (bell heard ring off n.) Ring out, wild bells. I lub your 
[music. I'se comin'. I'se coniin'. - (axit c. D. R. 

Re-enter Jupiter, c. d. r., followed by Angelina. 

fYou wait here Miss, an' I'll tell massa you wish to see him. What 
mame shall 1 say? 

Angelina. My name is not to be uttered by the vuij^ar. just tell him 
^a lady from the fair is here, and must see him. 

Jupiler. A lady from de fair. 

Ang riiat's what 1 said. Now begone — vanish iiiciiial— quit my 
sight, (turns l. 



8 SHE COULbiM 1 MAkkY THREE. 

Jujiiter. Oh Lord, quit her sight. Wait "till de Missus sees her, 
an' she'll make her quit her sight, or my name ain't Jupiter Jackson 
Johnson. (exit c. d. r. 

Ang. {lakes off hat, places it on table) I wonder what Ohver will 
say when he discovers me here. I certainly have my nerve with 
me to beard the lion in his den, especially when the lions wife is at 
home, but 1 want to see my ex-husband and bring about a rec'>ncili- 
ation and a reunion. I'm just as much in love with my iiusband 
as ever, even though we are divorced. We can get married again — 
it will be so romantic. {crosses to L 

Enter Oliver Trimble, c. d. r. 

Oliver. Angelina ! you here? 

Ang. {turns c.) Yes, my own dear Rudolph. Are you not glad 
to see your own tootsie wootsie? 

Oliver, (neroous) Oh yes, of course, I'm very glad to see you. • 

Ang. 1 hen embrace your own Angelina. 

Oliver, {they embrace — aside) Oh Lord, if my wife should see 
me now. 

Ang. What's the matter, have you got St. "Vitus dance? 
- Oliver. No, I think it's the Merry Widow waltz. 

Ang. Come, let us sit down and have a social chat. By the way 
Oliver, how did you come by the romantic name of Rudolph? 

{both sit on i^ofa L. 

Oliver. I got it out of one of Bertha Clay's novels. How did you 
coine to call yourself Angelina? Of course this is not your real name. 

Ang. 1 got it out of one of Laura Jean Libbey's novels, you old 
ducky darling. {they embrace 

Oliver, {aside) Oh. if my wife could only see me now. {aloud) 
You cannot s.tay here. 

Ang. I shall only visit you for a week, and maybe longer. 

Oliver. A week! Great heavens, no! A minute, you mean. 
What shall 1 tell my wife? 

Ang. Why Rudolph, tell her 1 am your long lost sister. 

Oliver. How can I have a long lost sister, when I never had a sis- 
ter to loose. 

Ang. Then pass me ofT for your half-sister. 1 don't care, 1 am 
here to stay. Oliver, you can't shake me so easy. Whether your 
wife likes it or not, you giddy old flirt. You must pay the penalty of 
your folly. There's no fool like an old fool. {bell heard ring 

Oliver, {jumps up) Oh, Lord, that may be my wife now. 

Ang. Let her come. I'll stand my ground — remember, I am your 
long lost sister. Now, Oliver, order me some refreshments, 1 am 
thirsty after my long journey. Now then, light out. vamose, vanish. 

Oliver. On second thought, step into this room (indicates d. r. 
3 E.) and 111 have the servant bring you a cup of weak tea. 

Ang. (crosses to D. R. 3 E.) No weak tea or pink tea in mine, 
send me a bottle of champagne, and do it quick, (exit R. 3 E. 

Oliver. If ever I get out of this scrape, I'll join the Salvation army. 
(bell heard ring) There's that confounded bell again. I mustn't 
forget about the whie. (rings call bell on table K.) No use in talk- 
ing, I must get that woman out of the house before my wif« sees her. 
or there will be the devil to pay. 



iHE COULDN'T MARRY THREE. y 

'i Enter Jupiter c. D. R. 

Jupiter, bring a bottle of Munim's Extra Dry Champagne to ttie lady 
in (points to n. 3 e.) that room. 

Jupiter, Is de lady extra dry? 

Oliver. None of you're business! Get out! 

Jupiter, (sings) "Oh foh de lub of a dear little girl." 

(exit R. c. E. 

0/ioer. (Angeuna heard singing from R. 3 e.) Oh. Lord! I must 
tell her to stop that. If my wife should hear that, it would be grounds 
for a divorce. (exit R. 3 E. 

Enter LvcmoA.D. L. 3 e. 

Luc. I'd like to find out what all the bells are ringing for, one 
would think it was a New York hotel with fifty bell boys. 

£n<er Jupiter, r. c. e. with tray, bottle of wine and glass. 

Jupiter, what have you there? 

Jupiter. Where? 

Luc. (points to tray) There. 

Jupiter. Oh. Mumm. 

Luc. Are you drunk? 

Jupiter. No ma'am. 

Luc. Then tell me what's in that bottle. 

Jupiter. Mumm. 

Luc. I insist upon knowing the contents of that bottle. 

Jupiter. An' I'm tellin' you. Mumm! 

Luc. (crosses to Jupiter, takes bottle.) This is what I mean, you 
fool. 

Jupiter. That's what I mean too. Mumm's Extra Dry Cham- 
pagne. 

Luc. Oh, I see. And who is that twenty year old wine for? 

Jupiter. A twenty year old young lady in de next room. 

Luc, A young lady drinking wine in rriy house! Who is she? 

(hands bottle back to Jupiter. 

Jupiter. A friend of de massa's, that's all I know foh de present, 
to be continued in our next, (exit R. 3 e. singing) "Oh foh de lub 
of a dear little girl." 

Luc. There is some mystery here, and my husband is connected 
with it. (sees Angelina's hat on table r.) A woman's Merry Widow 
hat. (takes hat and crosses near l. 3 e. — examines hat) This may 
be the key to the mystery. My husband's actions since he returned 
from the fair have been strange and frivolous, not to say scandalous. 

(stands near l. 3 e. 

Enter Oliver, r. 3 e. — backs on, does not see Lucinda. 

0/roer. She will drive me to desperation if she remains here. I've 
got a plan, she is evidently fond of champagne. I'll get her intox- 
icated, call a cab. and send her home. She told me to get her hat. 
(crosses to table R. — has back to Lucinda) Now where in the devil 
has that hat disappeared to? It was here a moment ago. 

Luc. (coming c. — hat in hand) Is this the voung lady's hat you 
were looking fur? 



10 SHE COULDN'T MARRY THREE. 

Olioer. (turns nervously) Oh yes, that's the identical hat. 

Luc. (stern/y) To whom does this hat belong, sir? . 

Olioer. Why, to my long lost sister, of course. 

Luc. Your sister ! You never told me you had a sister. You al- 
ways told me you were the only child. 

Oliver. That is, I was the only boy child. She is my half-sister 
on my step-mother's side. I thouht she was lost at sea, but she was 
living in Jersey all the time and now she has turned up unfortun- 
ately — I mean unexpectedly, 

Luc. How romantic. You must introduce me to your half-sister. 

Oliver, (aside) Oh, the worst is yet to come, (crosses to r. 3 e.) 
I must instruct Angelina to play the part of a long lost sister. 

(exit R. 3 E. 

Luc. 'Tis strange that my husband never mentioned anything 
about a sister to me before. There should be no secrets between 
husband and wife. 

Enter Jupiter, r. 3 e. with a tray — sinoing. 

Jupiter. "Oh foh de lub of a dear little girl." 

(places tray on table r. 
Luc. Silence sir! Is my husband's sister a hard drinker? 
Jupiter. No ma'am, she's de easiest drinker 1 eber saw. It just 
slides down like a toboggan down a mountain side. 
Luc. That will do, leave the room. (exit Jupiter, c. d. 

£n<er Oliver, r. 3 e. 

Oliver. My quarter sister, I mean my-half sister, is coming to sec 
you. I'm going out to get some fresh air. 

Luc. You look as if you neeeded an open air tonic — too much 
champagne, eh? 

Oliver. No, too much real pain. I feel as if I was burning up — 
cremated alive, (aside) I'll see Frank. He must help me out of 
this scrape and take this woman off my hands. (exit r. c. e. 

Enter Angelina, r. 3 e. 

Ang. (aside) His wife. Now comes the tug of war. 

Luc. (crosses to Angelina) Ah, my dear, I know all. Oliver 
has told me the truth. 

Ang. (aside) Oh, the old liar. 

Luc. You are his long lost sister — lost at sea and found in Jersey. 

Ang. Oh yes, yes, I was found in Jersey. 

Luc. Now you must come with me, and I will show you a nice 
cozy room where you can make yourself at home, during your stay 
here. Come, dear sister. 

Ang. (aside) Oliver, or Rudolph, is a first class liar and hypo- 
crite. When his dear Lucinda finds out that he is a gay deceiver, 
and that he never had a sister, "There'll be a hot time in the old 
town to-night." (exuent L. 3 e. 

Enter Frank and Oliver, r. c. e. — Frank l. 

0/ioer. Now see here, Frank, you must help me out of this scrape. 

Frank. I will if 1 am able to without compromising myself. 

Oliver Thank you Frank. 

Frank. But why in the name of Heaven don't you send her away? 



SHE COULDN'T MAkMY THREE. 11 

Olivet. She says she has come to spend a week. 

Frank, (jb/aces hat on sofa l.) Holy smoke ! I fear you are in 
trouble up to your neck. 

Oliver. Yes, and if my wife finds it out, I'll get it in the neck all 
around. 

Frank. Now ain't you ashamed of yourself, you antiquated old 
sinner, and you having such a good, faithful, handsome wife. I blush 
for you, you bald headed old reprobate. 

Oliver. Say old boy, don't torture me with your reproaches at this 
time. 1 want your assistance. 

Frank. Does your wife know she is here? 

Oliver. Yes, 1 framed up a story for my wife that Angelina was a 
long lost sister, who had been lost at sea, but found in Jersey. 

Frank. That sister gag is an old one and works still. Did your 
wife believe it? 

Oliver. I hope so, but 1 won't swear to it. 

Frank. Well, come along, old man, and I'll try and help you out 
of this. 

Oliver. Thanks Frank, you are a friend in need. 

Frank. Yes, I'm needy enough. Let this be a lesson to you in the 
future — one wife at a time. 

(exuent c. e. 

Enter Angelina, l. 3 e. 

Ang. I forgot my hat. (crosses to table r., (jicks up hat — business 
with pin) Oliver's wife is a sweet, innocent, unsophisticated little 
mortal. She swallowed that long lost sister like a pickeral would a 
fly. 

Enter Frank, c. e., sees Angelina. 

Frank. Ah. there's the fair damsel that Oliver spoke of, I'll try 
and make an impression. 

Ang. (turns, sees Frank) My husband ! 

Frank. My wife ! {exit c. e. quickly 

Ang. So he is here. I guessed as much. It was to win back his 
love, I came here. Oliver Trimble, or Rudolph, as he calls himself, 
thought I came here to see him, and I want to leave him under that 
impression, until my task is accomplished. Then I'll tell the, truth, 
and nothing but the truth, and Oliver will see what an old fool he 
has made of himself, (laughs) Ha ! ha ! ha ! (exit l. 3 e. 

Enter Frank, c. e. 

Frank. Jerusalem ! here's a pretty kettle of fish. To think of my 
divorced wife being here under this very roof, and 1 am to help Oliver 
out of his scrape by swearing that my ex-wi?e is his long lost sister. 
A nice predicament. Who ever heard of such a ridiculous thing, as 
a man making love to his own wife. 1 can't blame Oliver, of course 
he had never seen my wife. So he is innocent of any base designs 
in that respect. But I'll turn the tables on him. I'll make desperate 
love to his wife and make him jealous. Perhaps in the meantime, 
I can affect a reconciliation with Mabel, and we can bury the past, 
forgive and forget, kiss and make up, a begin a new life in the future. 



12 SHE COULDN'T MARRY THREE, 

Enter Lucinua, l. 3 E. 

Luc, Ah, you here, Frank? 

Frank. Yes, I'm here, Mrs. Trimble. 

Luc. You haven't met my husband's long lost sister, have you? 

Frank. My dear Mrs. Trimble, has it ever occurred to you that 
your husband never had a long lost sister, and that the person he 
now calls his sister, is nothing but an impostor? 

Luc. 'Tis strange, he never mentiuned anything about her until 
the present time. 

Frank. And by what name does he call her? 

Luc. Angelina. 

Frank, (aside) My wife called Angelina. I won't do a thing to 
that old reprobate, (aloud) My dear Mrs. Trimble, if it should turn 
out that she is not his sister, but a deep designing woman, imperson- 
ating his sister, what would you do? 

Luc. • I'd do something desperate. Oh, to think that I should put 
any faith in a male man ! What shall I do? 

(walks stage wringing her hands 

Frank. I have an idea, and you must help me to carry it out. 

Luc. What is it? 

Frank. You and I will make desperate love to one another. 

Luc. Never, sir! 

Frank. Remember it's not reality, we are only doing it to make 
your perfidious husband so jealous that he will be glad to give up this 
woman, if she is an impostor. 

Luc. Yes, I'll do it. When will we commence the first lesson? 

Frank. At once. (Oliver heard singing off c. e.) He's coming . 
Now to begin. (looe scene ad. lib.. 

Enter Oliver, c. e. — sees situation, remains c. 

Frank. Yes, Lucinda — dear Lucinda, leave the false hearted wretch. 

Oliver, (aside) What's this I hear? My best friend making love 
to my wife. He has more courage than I ever had. 

Frank. Your faithless husband is unworthy of you. 

Oliver, (aside) That's good ! I like that ! 

Frank. He was never true to you. Then why should you waste 
aflections upon such a man? Let us fly together, my own turtle 
dove, (in the wings of love. 

Oliver, (aside) The turtle doves are going to fly. I'll have to 
clip their wings. 

Frank, (kneeling) See on my knees I'm about ready to press 
my suit. 

0/iwer, (comes c) I'll press your suit for you. 

(Lucinda screams — exit l. 1 e. 

Oliver. What do yog mean by stealing my wife? 

Frank. What do you mean by stealing mine, you old freak? 

Oliver. What do you mean? 

Frank. I mean just what I say. The girl you met at the fair and 
the one you are trying to pass off on you wife as your long lost sis- 
ter, are one and the same, and my divorced wife. 

Oliver. Oh, Lord! I've been jumping out of the frying pan into 
the fire. 1 had never seen your wife, consequently, I didn't know 
that the girl IVuni the fair was your divorced wife. 



SHE COULDN'T MARRY THREE. 13 

Frank. Now sir, there is but one way to wipe out the insult. 
(aside) I must keep this up as long as I can. 

0/i'uer. And that is — 

Frank. We must fight a duel. 

Oliver. A duel? 

Frank. Yes. a duel to the death. Remember, if you refuse to 
fight, I'll tell your wife all. 

Oliver. Very well, we'll fight. 

Frank. Good ! now for the deadly weapons, (aside) Neither of 
us can handle a sword, so there'll be no danger. (calls Jupiter. 

Enter Jupiter, c. e. 

■ Jupiter. Yes sah. 

Frank. Swords for two. 

Jupiter. What foh, sah? 

Frank. I'm going to kill your master. 

(Jupiter, business of fit ad. lib. 

Oliver. Are you having a fit? 

Jupiter. No sah, I've had one. Did you say swords to slaughter 
each other? 

Oliver. Yes, you fool. (Crosses to R. corner — takes off coat 

Jupiter. Yes, you fool. (^xit c. E. 

Frank, (takes tray off table and puts inside of coat — aside) May- 
be I've carried this joke too far. However, I can't back out now. 

Enter Jupiter, with swords. 

Jupiter. Dere's your daggers. Now get together an' cut yourselves 
up into mince meat. 

Oliver. Jupiter, if I remember right, the last man I fought with, is 
still in the hospital, is he not? 

Jupiter. He is — not. (exit c. E. 

Frank. Now, sir, are you ready? 

(Busines of duel ad. lib. — Frank is wounded and falls L. 

Oliver. He's done for now. Now to make my escape while there is 
a chance. (exit R. 3 e. 

Frank, (laughing — jumping up) You old fool, it will take more 
than you to kill me. Now to find my wife and then to explain all to 
Mrs. Trimble. (exit R. 3 E. 

Enter Oliver and Lucinda, l. c. e. 

Oliver. Now, my dear, it's all a ridiculous mistake. My supposed 
sister is Frank Raymond's divorced wife. I just did it to bring hus- 
band and wife together. 

Luc. I understand, and now they are going to be reunited. 

Oliver. Not in this world. Frank Raymond is dead. He died by 
my hand in an honorable duel. 

Luc. Then you are a cold-blooded murderer, to kill your best friend. 

Enter, Frank and Angelina, r. 3 e. 

Frank. No siree, he never touched me. I played possum to fool 
you. This, (produces tray from breast of coat) saved my life. 
Now. Mrs. Trimble, I'm going to tell the inith, the whole truth, and 



14 . SHE COULDN' T MARRY THREE. 

nothing but the truth. Your husband is a Har. but not an ingenious 
liar. His sins have found him out. He never had a long lost sister. 
This lady is my divorced wife, but we have agreed to forgive and for- 
get. In turn, I ask you to forgive your husband. He has been suf- 
ficiently punished. 

Lac. (to Oliver) I forgive you, for the sake of your long lost 
sister. 

O/i'oer. I've got my little lesson. Song. 

CURTAIN 

THE END. 



Plax^s that will G-ive Satisfaction. 



Stub; or the Fool from Boston. Farce-comedy in 4 acts. 8 male, 3 female char- 
acters. Good villain, leading man and lady. Thrilling situations. The Fool is 
immense. Stase settins easy. Time. 1 hour, 30 minutes. Price 25ct8. 

Trixie; or the Wizard of Fog Island. Drama in 3 acts, 6 male, 3 female charac- 
ters. Time, 1 hour, 30 minutes. Good leading lady, two old men. good Dutch- 
man and Negro. Price IScts. 

Hal Hazard. Military drama in 4 acts. 7 male, 3 female characters. Time, 2 
hours. Scene is laid during the war of Rebellion, at the time of "Sherman's 
March to the Sea. " Good for any occasion and takes well. Price 25cts. 

An Afllitced Family. Farce-comedy in 4 acts, 7 male 5 female characters. 
Time. 1 hour, 45 minutes. One of the most laughable plays ever written. 

Price IScts. 

Taking the Census. Farce in 1 scene, 1 male, 1 female characters. Time, 20 
minutes. 'I he funny experience of a Census Taker with a deaf old lady will be 
appreciated. Price IScts. 

The Persecuted Dutchman. Farce, 6 male. 3 female characters. Time, 35 min- 
utes. Dutch and Irish comedians, sentimental young lady and dude. Situations 
ludicrous. Price IScts. 

The Factory Girl. Comedy-drama. 2 acts, 6 male, 3 female characters. Time. 
2 hours. This is a beautiful drama, fine situations and climax. Price IScts. 

Fruits of the Wine Cup. Temperance drama in 3 acts'. 6 male, 3 female char- 
acters. Time, 1 hour. Pathetic and amusing portions well balanced. Scenery 
easily arranged. Price IScts. 

Mischievous Nigger. Farce in 1 act. 4 male, 2 female characters. Time. 20 
minutes. A roaring farce in which all characters are kept busy. Price IScts. 

That Boy Sam. Ethiopian farce in 1 act. 3 male, 1 female characters. Time, 20 
minutes. Gives the troubles of a "colored gal " trying to have a beau, and the 
pranks of "That Boy Sam. " Price IScts. 

Phylis; the Beggar Girl. Melo-drama in 3 acts, 6 male, 3 female characters. 
Time, 2 hours. Scenery simple and easily arranged. Characters first class. 

Price IScts. 
Wonderful Telephone. Farce in 1 act, 2 male, 1 female characters and small 
boy. Specialties may be introduced by Negro, Irishman and young lady. 

Price IScts. 
A Life's Revenge. Drama in 3 acts, 10 male, 5 female ..i^ nacters. Costumes, 
French of 1661. Time.2hours, 15 minutes. Can be arrani;-' »y Amateurs, but is 
heavy. Fine characters and glorious comedy. Price IScte 



^Sunlight;4 



-OE- 



The Diamond King. 

A Western Drama in 4 acts, by Col. Geo. H. Hamilton, for 10 male 

and 3 female characters. The cast contains a good villain, a 

soubrette, a chinaman, a negro, and an irishman. 

Time of playing 1 hour and 40 minutes. 



SYNOPSIS OF EVENTS. 

ACT I. — Hotel at Yosemite Valley — A game of cards — Receipt for 
$10,000 — A ruined man — "Enjoy life while it lasts, for when you are 
dead, it's a long time" — The oath — DoUie and Sandy — "Take a fool's 
advice" — The letter in cipher — Jubal and DoUie — The whiskey test 
— "No sir! dis coon won't be exploded" — Silas, the Irish adviser — 
Win Klee, the chinaman, assists Silas — The proposal interrupted — 
Yosemite Bill and Silcartie at the hotel — Mrs. Marvin and Bill — "A 
letter from Sandy's partner. Bud" — Bill's story of how he found the 
little gal — "She's been the sunlight of our home" — "The shadows 
fall" — Sunlight and Redfern — A villain's proposal — Sandy appears — 
"You will both regret this hour" — Draw poker. Chinaman takes a 
hand — Silcartie's story and it's sequel — "Sunlight, my child" — "Guard 
these papers with your life" — Dismal forbodings — "Traitor !" — Redfern 
murders Silcartie and escapes. 

ACT 11. — Dullie and' Win Klee, his proposal to Dollie — Silas and 
DoUie — "I want a man who is not afraid to propose" — Sunlight and 
Bill — News of Bud's arrival — Sandy overhears Sunlight's explanation 
to Walter — "The Canyon can't hold us three" — Sandy's decision and 
farewell — Walter murdered by Redfern — Win Klee appears at window 
— Redfern accuses Sandy of the murder — Two bowers and the little 
joker. 

ACT III. — Mining cave in Mexico — Win and Jubal — Arrival of 
Bandits — Palacio and Redfern — "Sienta must die tonight" — The 
deadly drug — "Away to the treasure cave" — Win and Jubal prepare 
a surprise for the Bandits — Jubal changes drug for whiskey — Sandy, 
as Sienta, the crazed miner — Redfern gives Sandy the supposed poi- 
son — "Now die, I'm avenged" — Sandy and Jubal — Redfern's villainy 
— Silas in search of Sandy — Palacio has the chart, a struggle, in 
which Sandy recovers the chart — "Found ! found ! 1 am the Diamond 
King !" — Explosion. 

ACT IV. — Bill and Mrs. Marvin — Sunlight's sorrow — Silas returns 
to Dollie as a missionary — Redfern claims Sandy's property — Sandy 
arrives disguised — "No word from my husband?" — Sandy and Red- 
fern meet — The disguise thrown off — "Redfern, you murdered Walter 
Burrell" — Win Klee a witness — Judge Lynch — Happy reunion be- 
tween Sandy and Sunlight — "I have returned a "Diamond King." 

Tiitiu 35eti. 



>STUB;4- 

-OR- 



The Fool From Boston. 



A Farce Comedy in 4 acts, by Charles O. Williard, for 8 maU 
and 3 female characters. Time. 1 hour and 30 minutes. 

SYNOPSIS OF EVENTS. 

ACT I.— The outing— Stub— The beast— Arrival of the fool— Helen 
and her thoughts — The villain appears — Logan Marsh — The dastardly 
attempt to steal the papers — The fool on deck. 

ACT II. — Scene 1. — Welcome Hotel — The Conspirators — ^The bum 
— Stub and the bum come to an understanding — Scene 2. — The scheme 
progressing — Scene 3. — Home of Logan Marsh — ^The Squire tries his 
hand — Ditto Stanley — Arrival of Simon and the bum — "Then I'll do 
it myself" — Change of feeling — Narrow escape of Jack — Stub to the 
rescue. 

ACT III. — Scene 1. — Home of Squire North — Foolish Jake — Count 
de Rejaux— Suspicions — Suspicion satisfied — A new plot — The invi- 
tation — Scene 2. — Foolish Jake — Stub — "He wouldn't have to ask 
twice" — Jack — '1 take you at your word" — Preparing to meet the 
schemers — Scene J. — The reception and ball — The guests arrive — The 
Count de Rejaux — The plot — Departure of guests — Stub remains — 
"Help! help!" — Harry and Fred on deck — "Yes there is" — "Says she" 
— "Who are you?" — "Jack Curtis, the fool from Boston." 

ACT IV. — Scene 1. — Home of Stub — The clock and the documents 
— The old Lawyer — The murder — "1 will kill him"— %Scene 2. — Helen 
— The old lawyer again — "To the village" — Scene 3. — Home of Squire 
North — The fugitive — The dark room — The old lawyer takes a hand 
— "Yes you will write" — Death of Stanley — The fool ffom Boston — 
Happy final. Price 25cts. 



The Girl From The Midway. 

A Farce-comedy in 1 act by Barnard Francis Moore, for 3 male and 
2 female characters. This is a roaring farce, lias a good Irish charac- 
ter. The girl from the Midway Plaisance is one of the Algeria danc- 
ing girls, whom Mr. Bradford fell in love with, and as a married man, 
got himself into trouble, but was finally helped out by the girl's hus- 
band. Time, 1 hour. Price 15cts. 

Ames' Publishing^ Co.^ Clyde, Ohio. 



AMES' PLAVS' 



No. M. F. 

183 Fruits of the 'Wine Cup... 6 3 

104 Lost 6 2 

53 Out in the Streets 6 4 

51 Eesoued 5 3 

59 Saved 2 3 

102 Turn of the Tide 7 4 

63 Three Glasses a Day 3 3 

62 Ten Nights in a Bar-Room 7 3 

68 Wrecked 9 3 

COMEDIES. 

124 An Afflicted Family 7 5 

87 Biter Bit, The 5 2 

394 Bird Family ...8 5 

257 Caught in the Act 7 3 

248 Captured 5 4 

178 Caste 5 3 

368 Case of Jealousy 4 2 

131 Cigarette, The 4 2 

388 Farmer Larkin's Boarders 5 4 

359 Girl from the Midway, The 3 2 

207 Heroic Dutchman of '76. . 8 3 

199 Home 5 3 

421 In a Spider's Web 8 5 

383 Joshua Blodgett, 25c 7 2 

S23 Johanes Blatz's Mistake. . . 4 3 

174 Love's Labor Not Lost 3 3 

357 London Assurance 9 3 

341 Miss Blothingay's Blunder 3 3 

411 Miss Topsy Turvy. ....... 4 4 

418 Muldoon's Blunders, 25c. . 5 3 

149 New Years in N. Y 7 6 

37 Not So Bad After All 6 5 

338 Our Boys 6 4 

126 Our Daughters 8 6 

370 Our Summer Boarder's.... 6 3 

265 Pug and the Baby 5 3 

114 Passions 9 4 

264 Prof. James' Experience 

Teaching Country School. . 4 3 

219 Rags and Bottles 4 1 

239 Scale with Sharps and 
Flats 3 2 

404 Servants vs. Master 6 2 

375 Slight Mistake 5 

g21 Solon Shingle 14 2 

363 Stub, 25c 8 3 

262 Two Bad Boys 7 3 

306 Three Hats, The 4 3 

240 $2,000 Reward 2 

329 Valet's Mistake 5 4 

351 Winning Hand, The 6 2 

384 Widow McGinty, The 5 4 

TRAGEDIES. 

16 The Serf 6 3 

FARCES and COMEDIETTAS. 

132 Actor and Servant 2 

316 Aunt Charlotte's Maid 3 3 

320 All in a Muddle 3 3 

393 Andy Freckles 4 3 

291 Actor's Scheme, The 4 4 

252 Awful Carpet Bag, That.. 3 3 

175 Betsey Baker 2 2 

86 Black vs. Wliite 4 2 

352 Bridget Branigan's Trou- 
bles 2 2 



-CONTINUED 

No. M. F. 

401 Box and Cox 2 1 

344 Badly Mixed 2 2 

289 Colonel's Mishap 5 

287 Cousin Josiah . . ., 1 1 

225 Cupids Capers 4 4 

317 Cleveland's Recept'n Party 5 3 

324 Day in a Doctor's Office.. 5 1 

345 Deacon Jones'Wife's Ghost 4 

249 Double Election 9 1 

220 Dutchy vs. Nigger 3 

379 Dutchman's Picnic, The... 3 6 

188 Dutch Prize Fighter 3 

407 Dr. Baxter's Servants 4 

218 Everybody Astonished .... 4 

224 Fooling with the Wrong 

Man 2 1 

233 Freezing a Mother-in-Law. 3 2 

154 Fun in a Post Office 4 2 

274 Family Jars 5 2 

209 Goose with the Golden 

Eggs 5 3 

307 Hallabahoola, the Medicine 
Man 4 3 

271 Hans Brummel' s Cafe 5 

116 Hash 4 2 

140 How He Popped the Ques- 
tion 1 1 

74 How to Tame Your Mother- 
in-Law 4 2 

366 Hotel Healthy 4 3 

398 Haunted Hat, The 2 

308 Irish Squire of Squash 
Ridge 4 2 

95 In the Wrong Clothes..... 5 3 

305 Jacob Shlaff's Mistake 3 2 

699 Jimmie Jones 3 2 

11 John Smith 5 3 

99 Jumbo Jum 4 3 

406 iTudge by Proxy 5 2 

303 Kiss in the Dark 2 3 

389 Kitty and Patsy 1 1 

380 Katie's Deception 4 2 

228 Lauderbach's Little Sur- 
prise 2 1 

302 Locked in a, Dress-maker's 

Room 3 2 

106 Lodgings for Two 3 

288 Love in all Corners 5 3 

S28 Landlord's Revenge, The.. 3 

139 Matrimonial Bliss 1 1 

231 Match for a Mother-in-Law 3 2 

235 More Blunders than One.. 4 3 

69 Mother's Fool 6 1 

208 My Precious Betsey 4 4 

212 My Turn Next 4 3 

32 My Wife's Relations 4 6 

273 My Neighbor's Wife 3 3 

313 Matchmaking Father 2 2 

358 Mike Donovan's Courtship. 1 3 

354 Mystic Charm, The 4 

349 My Mother-in-Law 2 4 

285 Mashers Mashed, The S 2 

296 Nanka's Leap Year 'Ven- 
ture 5 2 

259 Nobody's Moke 6 2 

395 Nip and Tuck 3 1 



AMES' PLAYS 

M, F. 

Our Hotel 5 3 

Olivet 3 2 

Our Family Umbrelli 4 2 

Obstinate Family, The 3 3 

Paddy Miles' Boy 5 2 

Patent Washing Machine. 4 1 

Persecuted Dutchman .... 6 3 

Professional Gardener .... 4 2 

Poor Pilicody 2 3 

Pat McFree 7 3 

Popping: the Question 2 4 

Printer and His Devils, The 3 1 

Quiet Family 4 4 

Reg-ular Fix 6 4 

Hippies 2 

Rough Diamond 6 3 

Room 44 2 

Rascal Pat, That 3 2 

Ruhen Rube 2 1 

Sham Professor, The 4 

Spellin' Skewl, The 7 6 

Santa Claus' Daixghter 5 7 

Sewinff Circle of Period. . . 5 

S. H. A. M. Pinafore 5 3 

Somebody's Nobody 3 2 

Strictly Temperance 2 2 

Stage Struck Yankee 4 2 

Struck by Lightning 2 2 

Slick and Skinner 5 

Slasher and Crasher 5 2 

Stupid Cupid 4 

Snow Ball 3 2 

Signing an Actor 1 1 

Switched Off 8 

Too Many Cousins 3 3 

Two Gentlemen in a Fix. .2 

Taking the Census 1 1 

Turn Him Out 3 2 

Thirty- three Next Birthday .4 2 

Tim Flanigan 5 

Trials of a Country Editor 6 2 

Texan Mother-in-Law 4 2 

Two Aunt Emilys 8 

$10,000 Wager 4 2 

Uncle Ethan 4 3 

Unjust Justice 6 2 

Vermont Wool Dealer 6 2 

Wonderful Telephone 3 1 

Which is Which, 3 3 

Wanted a Husband 2 1 

Wooing Under Difficulties. 4 3 

Which Will He Marry?... 2 8 

Widower's Trials , . 4 5 

Waking Him Up 1 2 

Why They Joined the Re- 
beccas 4 

Who's Who? 3 2 

Winning a Wife 2 1 

Yankee Duelist ..^ 3 1 

Yankee Peddler 7 3 

Yacob's Hotel Experience. 3 

ETHIOPIAN FARCES. 

Academy of Stars 6 

Black Shoemaker 4 2 

The Little Gem Make 



CONTl 017 401 438 



No. 
840 

334 
381 
40O 

67 
217 
165 
286 
195 
392 
412 
276 
159 
169 
180 
171 
267 
315 
416 

68 
295 
309 
138 
115 

65 
827 
232 
241 
270 
1 
365 
358 
346 
413 
326 
339 
137 
167 

28 
292 
263 
166 
281 
867 
312 
269 
213 
7 
332 
151 

66 

70 
135 
147 
155 

414 
403 
111 
157 
377 



204 
172 



No. 



U. F. 



98 Black Statue 4 2 

253 Best Cure, The ^.4 1 

325 Coincidence 8 

222 Colored Senators 3 

214 Chops 3 

190 Crimps Trip 5 

378 Gittin' 'Sperience in a Doc- 
tor's Office 4 2 

153 Haunted House 2 

24 Handy Andy 2 

236 Hypochondriac, The 2 

282 Intelligence Office, The 3 

319 In For It 3 1 

361 Jake and Snow 2 

88 Mischievous Nigger 4 2 

256 Midnight Colic 2 1 

128 Musical Darkey 2 

61 Not as Deaf as He Seems 2 

353 Nobody's Son 2 

244 Old Clothes 3 

234 Old Dad's Cabin 2 2 

246 Othello 5 

297 Pomp Green's Snakes 2 

134 Pomp's Pranks 2 

258 Prof. Bones' Latest Inven- 
tion 5 

177 Quarrelsome Servants 3 

107 School 5 

133 Seeing Besting 3 

179 Sham Doctor 3 8 

243 Sports on a Lark 3 

92 Stage Struck Darkey 2 1 

238 Strawberry Shortcak© 2 

122 Select School, The 5 

108 Those Awful Boys 5 

245 Ticket Taker 5 

216 Vice Versa 4 

206 Villkens and Dinah 4 1 

210 Virginia Mummy 6 1 

205 William Tell 4 

156 Wig-Maker and His Ser- 
vants 3 

444 Jes' Like White Folks 4 3 

GUIDE BOOKS. 

17 Hints on Elocution 

ISO Hints to Amateurs 

MISCELLANEOUS. 

215 On to Victory, Cantata, 25c 5 5 
250 Festival of Days 

Happy Franks Songster... 

399 Ames' Select Recitations 
No. 1 

3S7 Mother Earth and Her 

Vegetable Daughters 16 

360 Ames' Series of Medleys, 
Recitations and Tableaux 
No. 1 : 

382 Ames Series of Medleys, 
Recitations and Panto- 
mimes No, 2 

376 Joan of Arc Drill 

371 Victim of Woman's Rights 1 

184 Family Discipline 1 

186 My Day and Now-a-Days. . 1 
Up Box. Price 60 Cents. 



